Ever hopeful.

I started this blog to help with my healthy eating challenge in 2011. That year I posted 368 times. Last year, in 2012, I posted 50 times. That might seem like almost once a week...if only that were true!  In reality, there were months that I didn't post at all.

On December 30, 2011, I posted about finally understanding why I overeat (see: Day 364 -- Reflecting), and I set out in 2012 to work through some issues. It was a journey. A bumpy, knock-me-to-my-knees, journey. Halfway through the year, I was directed to write about my life (see: "Give me this mountain!"), starting with my earliest memory and working my way forward. (I'm almost done with the Third Grade now...that's right...I'm crawling through the process.)

Along with writing my memoirs, I was prompted to seek counseling to help me through the issues. I chose a therapist who was also a performer, hoping she could understand not only my struggles with emotional eating, but also the creative blocks. On the creative side she was somewhat helpful, but on the eating side she could not relate. At all.

I switched therapists, and that was an excellent decision. My new therapist immediately had me listen to a CD series by Geneen Roth, When Food is Food & Love is Love.  For anyone struggling with emotional eating, I highly recommend listening to those.

At the end of 2011, I had lost weight in spite of my frequent problems with emotional eating, but that's just it...I still had my problems of emotional eating even while eating healthy! On Geneen's CD, she said:

"When you lose weight [through dieting], you don't lose the reasons you turned to food to begin with. You don't lose the reasons you ate. You don't lose your sadness, you don't lose your sorrow, you don't lose your suffering, you don't lose your loneliness. When you lose weight [counting calories, points, carbs, fat grams...] you are still the same person looking out at the world through eyes that don't like yourself, through disappointed eyes, through suffering eyes, through eyes that believe you're flawed in some way."

What does she recommend, if not dieting? She has some guided meditations to help deal with issues about food and love, and she recommends the following guidelines:

• Eat when you are hungry. (Truly hungry, body hungry, not head or heart hungry.)
• Eat sitting down in a calm environment. This does not include the car.
• Eat without distractions. Distractions include radio, television, newspaper, books, intense or anxiety producing conversation and music.
• Eat only what your body wants. (Not what your eyes want or your mind thinks it should have.)
• Eat until you are satisfied. (Not stuffed, not completely full.)
• Eat (with the intention of being) in full view of others. (Not sneaking.)
• Eat with enjoyment, gusto, and pleasure.

Does any of that ring a bell?  I was on the right track in 2011 when I challenged myself to eat when physically hungry and stop when full. 

In 2011, while faithfully keeping this blog, I lost 30 pounds. In 2012, I spiraled out of control while facing my demons with emotional eating, and gained 15. It's miraculous that I only gained that amount. When I used to eat sweets, I would easily gain everything back and then some. So I will take the 15 pound weight gain rather than 40.

Now it's a quarter into 2013, and I although I am still struggling, I am ever hopeful.  I only fail if I quit trying.  I will continue to heal.

And I'm ever hopeful I can be more diligent in blogging about my journey.

Body Image

Wow, it's hard to get started again after a long absence from posting on here. I had good intentions, and even wrote many a blog entry--in my head--but just couldn't seem to conjure up the time needed to post. I thought giving myself permission to post "first draft" writing (see: Back to the Dailies) would help, but it didn't.

I want to change the title of this blog to reflect on more complete health, not just healthy eating. I need healthy balance in my life, including mental, physical, emotional, social, and spiritual health. Just focusing on eating seems incomplete now, although during 2011 it helped me immensely.

Weighing on my mind lately is my body image. I didn't realize how poorly I viewed myself. Really. I became more aware of this when someone (okay, fine, I admit it was my therapist) suggested I keep track of any negative thoughts for a week. Prior to that, I actually considered myself a fairly positive person. Keeping track of my negative thoughts, however, took me by surprise. Nearly all of the negative thoughts that entered my head had to do with my self-image. I was stunned. By the end of that week, I began to wonder if there was anything I did like about my physical body, and after a mental assessment I came up with a few positive things, but even those were accompanied with disclaimers.

• I like my hair. But I wish I was better at styling it.
• I like my eyes.  
• I like my fingernails. But I need to take better care of my cuticles...and polish my nails.

Most everything else, I was not happy with.

So...I can find positive things to say about almost anything or anyone...but not about myself. I knew I had a few hang-ups about my body, but I truly did not realize just how negative I was about it. I'm trying to be kinder and more accepting of myself, but it's hard.

Last fall I spent three days as a "background talent" for an amusement park commercial. I could ride zipping roller coasters, but what really took an act of bravery on my part was donning a swim suit for the water park scene. Me? Be seen by cast and crew in my bathing suit? The thought was horrifying! And the thought of possibly being seen on TV in that state of dress sent cold chills throughout my body.

After much fear and trembling, I decided to face it head on. I took my swim suit and a pair of shorts to wear over it. When "wardrobe" came around, she must have sensed my uncomfortableness, and told me I could wear a pair of capris and a shirt. She did not want me to feel uncomfortable. But I told her I wanted to accept myself the way I am. So she suggested, "How about wearing your swim suit with a pair of capris?" I agreed.

That was struggle enough for one day, I think. I tried not to worry about my "lunch lady" arms. I tried not to compare my body to others. Not saying I was always successful, but I felt like it was a big step in self-acceptance. Yes, it used to be in better shape when I was young. Yes, my sugar addiction, although in recovery now, caused obesity which stretched out my skin. Yes, I'm fighting the ill effects of previous years of bad health habits. But I can't change those things. All I can do is move forward and do the best I can do with what I have now.

So somewhere in a commercial that will air this spring, I am wearing my swimsuit and capris and stepping out there into self-acceptance.

I might need a tranquilizer when it airs.

DAY 364 -- Reflecting

As the end of the year approaches, I find myself reflecting on this blog and the things I learned with My Healthy Eating Challenge.  When I started the challenge, I was in the mindset that I needed to eat healthier with more natural foods and less packaged, processed foods.  I am convinced that eating like this is the way for me to go, and I plan to continue. However, during the year I came face to face with the realization that overeating is a huge problem for me.  Eating healthy foods is only a small part of my battle; overeating is a major Goliath in my life.

Throughout the year as I struggled with overeating, I sought answers through prayer.  Help and strength came as often as I called out, but answers as to why I overeat came slower and piece by piece until finally a few weeks ago as I brushed my teeth, contemplating, the revelation filled my soul; and I stood there, looking at myself in the mirror, recognizing the truthful knowledge as both exhilaratingly freeing, yet painfully illuminating.

I wish I could report that knowledge was power and that receiving my answer released me from the jaws of food addiction.  Aha!  I know why you are here, dragon, and now you have no power.  Be gone!  But no. The answer opened a path that I must follow and I know it will not be easy.  In fact, it's been an even harder struggle lately to eat within the confines of hunger and fulness.

My apologies that this sounds vague, but what I am experiencing right now is deeply personal and I don't feel ready to share, as of yet.  But I will tell you that it will be a journey of self-discovery...finding out who I really am...what my core personality really is (before life events changed me).  It will be a journey to build my self-worth and to learn to like, or rather, love myself.

So it is, that I stand at the beginning of another year and another journey, and I wonder what to do with this blog.  Here are some ideas I've entertained...

• continue this blog (focusing in healthy eating)
• continue this blog, but with the focus on overeating
• change the direction of this blog to be about different aspects of personal health... healthy eating, healthy attitudes, healthy habits...
• end the blog with the end of the year
• (I considered starting a blog to chronicle my journey in building self-worth, but it feels too personal...yet, I can't help but wonder if it might help others struggling with similar issues.)

I would greatly appreciate input from readers! I will continue blogging in some form or another, but whatever direction I take, it will not be with daily posts since I hope to spend some more time with another blog of mine: Reel Focus.  It's been sorely neglected.

In the meantime, I have a fun post ready for tomorrow to end my count of 365 days, and then I will start a new year and possibly a new direction.  I hope you will give feedback, and stay tuned!

(I recently learned that some readers have had problems trying to comment, for some glitch in blogger or something.  You can contact me through email: sugarholicinrecovery@gmail.com)

DAY 362 -- It's closet day!

Today was the day... we cleaned out our closet and got rid of the clothes we won't wear. My husband's selection of donation items was the most dramatic since he's slimmed down so much!  There were piles of nice sweaters that hang on him now, and stacks of shrunk-out-of slacks.  He kept two of his favorite sweaters, which our daughter will tailor for him.  (She's one handy gal when it comes to sewing!)

My pile of donations was not as big as I thought it would be.  Last year at this time, if I had donated stuff that didn't fit (too tight) I would have been left with very little.  But now I can fit into all my clothes again!  Hooray!  (I did weed out a few things that I no longer wanted though.)  And I cleaned out some costume jewelry that I found in a forgotten box. (Wow... I used to wear the gaudiest earrings!)

I feel grateful and amazed.  As my husband's stack of too-large clothes kept growing taller, I thought, "All this from a man who skeptically announced he would try my plan of healthy eating for one month and if he didn't see any results he would stop."

Go figure... a healthy eating plan that didn't require counting calories, portions, carbs, fat grams... yet led to weight loss and a leaner closet.  This really works.

DAY 352 -- Christmas clothing.

At a party, December  2006

December 18, 2011

 I have a few Christmas shirts and sweaters that I like to wear during December.  Last year I could not fit into some of my favorites.  In fact, it helped motivate me to start eating healthier... thus I started My Healthy Eating Challenge.

Now here it is a year later, and I can fit into my favorite Christmas outfit!  I wore it to church today, then had my husband take a picture (shown on the right) to share with you.

DAY 325 -- Food Co-ops

A fun way to get inexpensive produce is by joining a food co-op.  We did that initially when we began My Healthy Eating Challenge.  We purchased our produce through Bountiful Baskets. For $15 we received a basketful of produce, 50% veggies, 50% fruit.  For organic produce it was $25.

We'd place the order on-line on a Monday (that was the order date for this area) and pick it up at the assigned location on Saturday morning.  It was like Christmas, since we never knew what we would receive.  Sometimes we received produce that we were not used to eating, which was a good way to try new recipes!

We no longer buy our produce through Bountiful Baskets because we decided to go with the organic produce and felt like we got more bang for our buck by shopping sales.   However, for those who live in areas where it is difficult to find good prices for organic produce, you might want to try it... and for those you don't prefer organic, it's a great deal!

They sometimes offer other food items too, such as artisan bread.

Here's the link:  Bountiful Baskets.  (If there is not one in your area, you can check around for other food co-ops.)  

DAY 305 -- Clarification

Just for clarification...

I've mentioned a few times that my husband and I save money on our grocery budget by eating healthy.  However, we spent more than usual the first month we started.  I'm not certain why the first month was more costly but I suspect it was because we cleared our cupboards of so much packaged food and junk, and then needed to restock our pantry with healthy items.

So when you initially start to eat healthy and feel a pinch in the pocketbook, hang in there.

DAY 303 -- Food and the environment.

When my husband and I first began My Healthy Eating Challenge, and started buying meat from a local farm, we talked about consuming less meat to help balance out the cost of the more expensive meat.  However, I recently realized that I cut the recipes in half since we were eating less, but I was not reducing the amount of meat.  If a recipe called for a pound of ground beef, and I was making half the recipe, I used a half pound of ground beef.  Since our grocery budget never took a hit from buying the more expensive foods, I never gave it much thought that we were technically using the same amount of meat as before.  

Recently we talked about this and decided, to promote even better health, we should cut back on the consumption of meat as we had first decided. In other words, when a recipe calls for one pound of beef and I am cutting the entire recipe in half, as well as cutting the amount of meat in half, then I should only use 1/4 pound of meat. (I know... sad that it took most of the year before realizing this!)

About the time we decided to reduce our consumption of meat, I read a book titled Food Matters by Mark Bittman.  [This is not linked (to my knowledge) to the documentary by the same name.]  In the book the author does a fantastic job of explaining how overconsumption affects our environment.  I feel a little dense because although I knew eating less animal protein would be healthy for us to do, I never took into consideration how eating less meat can actually help the environment!!  I did not realize "global livestock production is responsible for about one-fifth of all greenhouse gases--more than transportation."

I found his book fascinating and easy to understand, since he does a good job of using examples to help the reader visualize the results of various studies.  Here's a section that really hit me:

"Even the most conscientious agriculture has some environmental impact, and though much food production yields greenhouse gases, raising livestock has a much higher potential for global warming than crop farming.  For example: To produce one calorie of corn takes 2.2 calories of fossil fuel.  For beef the number is 40: it requires 40 calories to produce one calorie of beef protein.


In other words, if you grow corn and eat it, you expend 2.2 calories of energy in order to eat one of protein.  But if you process that corn, and feed it to a steer, and take into account all the other needs that steer has through its lifetime--land use, chemical fertilizers (largely petroleum-based), pesticides, machinery, transport, drugs, water, and so on--you're responsible for 40 calories of energy to get the same calorie of protein.  ...


Another way to put it is that eating a typical family-of-four steak dinner is the rough equivalent, energy-wise, of driving around in an SUV for three hours while leaving all the lights on at home. ... If we each ate the equivalent of three fewer cheeseburgers a week, we'd cancel out the effects of all the SUVs in the country.  Not bad."


The author suggests that we cut back on eating animal protein and get our protein from plant-based sources.  "Spinach has more than twice as much protein per calorie as a cheeseburger."  He started what he calls "sane eating" to do his part to help the environment, but the added bonus was weight loss and saving money on groceries. (Same for my husband and me!)  His way of eating is very much like how my husband and I have been eating except for the consumption of animal proteins.  Now, after reading his book, we are more determined to improve in that aspect.  The author does not advocate counting calories, fat grams, carbs, or portions.  (Gee... sound familiar??)

Sane eating by his definition means: eat less meat and junk food, eat more vegetables and whole grains.  It's as simple as that.

Eat sane.  Lose weight.  Save the Planet.


(Quotes and phrases from the book Food Matters by Mark Bittman are written in bold and/or italics.)

DAY 290 -- My wardrobe.

Last week I only partially heard a comment from my husband, "...need new jeans."  I replied, "Yeah, you do."  And he corrected me, "No.  YOU need new jeans."

He's right.  I do.  I hoped my jeans looked okay since I was wearing a shirt to hide my hiked up pants cinched around my waist.  Apparently they still look too baggy.  (I love that I have such a problem!)  But I don't want to get new clothes until the end of the year.  


In the meantime, I remembered I had a pair of khaki-colored denim pants that I had not worn since the Spring semester of 2008 because they were too tight on me.  I pulled them out of my closet and tried them on.  Woolah! They fit! That sent me on a try-things-on spree and I found a skirt, a dress, and a suit that all fit again.  It's as though I added to my wardrobe!


Still... I look forward to getting rid of baggy clothes in December.  Any guesses what will be on my Christmas wish list?   

DAY 289 -- Weight report.

For several months I didn't weigh myself.  I was overeating, and really should have weighed, but I neglected it.  So, when I decided to set a contract type goal with stickK.com, I figured it was time to step on the scale.  Even though I had gained some weight, I was actually surprised and pleased to see the gain was minimal.  I had not weighed since July 4, yet when I weighed on Sep. 30, I had only gained 2.5 pounds.  


Now for the good news... it's been two weeks since I started my contract not to overeat, and I've already lost 4.5 pounds.  That's fantastic!  There is no doubt that eating natural foods is the way to go.  With three months of overeating I only gained 2.5 pounds, and in two weeks of paying attention to actual hunger and fulness, I lost all of that, plus an additional 2 pounds.  Amazing.  


(For those who might be new to this blog... I do not count calories, fat grams, carbs, or portions.  I am trying to let my body tell me when it's time to eat and when it's time to stop, and eat mostly natural, very little processed.)


In years past, I've tried "diets" where I restricted calories or what have you, and would lose about 20 pounds, then gain 30... in a very short amount of time.   So far with My Healthy Eating Challenge, I have struggled often with overeating, yet I've lost 27.5 pounds since January 1.


My husband has lost 53 pounds.  PLUS, he no longer needs medication for blood pressure, cholesterol, thyroid, or diabetes. 


Healthy eating, and exercise, really does promote good health.  Go figure!  ☺

DAY 287 -- Answering questions.

When I posted about my 10-year anniversary abstaining from sweets (Sunday, Oct. 9), a reader asked some questions.  I thought others might be interested the my responses, so I hope she doesn't mind that I am using a separate post to answer her questions.

Q: Do you refrain just from sweets, or from sugar in other products like catsup and spaghetti sauce?


A: When I initially began my sugarholic recovery, I stopped eating sweets such as candy bars, pastries, sodas, and obvious treats.  As for other products, I carefully read the labels and if the sweetener was one of the first four ingredients, I didn't eat it.  If it was fifth or beyond on the list of the ingredients, then I went ahead and ate it.  I had a difficult time finding catsup that was low in sugar, but finally found one that was satisfactory to me (however, I can no longer find that brand).  Currently, because of "My Healthy Eating Challenge" I try to avoid all foods that have added sweeteners since I try to eat natural, fresh foods and very little packaged or processed foods.  (It's hard to find packaged foods that don't have sweetener added!)  I watch labels and purchase tomato sauce and tomato paste that does not contain sweetener.  Hunts used to make a spaghetti sauce that did not contain added sugars, but I can no longer find it so I make my own sauce.


By the way... I learned once again how important it is to read labels.  I attended a meeting last night where someone brought gluten-free pretzels.  I tried a few, and they were delicious. Then I read the label.  You guessed it... sugar was added.  I never suspected to look because typically pretzels are a safe bet!

Q: Do you end up having to do a lot of cooking to avoid added sugars?


A: I do make a lot of things from scratch, but I find quick and easy recipes, including recipes for the crockpot.  A few recipes I enjoy are listed on the Recipe Page of this blog.


Earlier in the year I posted a blog entry giving examples of what I eat for various meals.  You can check it out on this link:  Sample Meal Ideas


Q: Do you use natural sweets like maple syrup and evaporated cane juice, all-fruit jam, and stevia?


A: Because I am addicted to "sweet" I use very little sweetener in anything; however, when I do need something sweetened I use pure maple syrup (100% maple syrup), pure honey, or molasses.  I mostly use fruit for sweetening, either fresh fruit or canned fruit (canned in its own juice).  For instance I make muffins using recipes that call for very little sweetener (about 2 tablespoons of honey or molasses for the entire batch), and have added fruit, such as mashed bananas, to help "sweeten" them.


I sometimes use all-fruit jam, but I carefully read the labels because many of the so-called all fruit jams use fruit syrup rather than fruit juice.  I avoid the ones with fruit syrup.  


I don't use stevia, and someone suggested I try agave, but after reading various studies about agave, I avoid that too.


Once sugar was out of my system, I found natural foods to taste delicious.  I don't feel the need or desire to sweeten most foods.  As an example, I use plain yogurt, add chunks of fruit and some broken walnuts, and to me that tastes delicious.  If someone used to eating sugar tasted my yogurt treat, it would not taste good to them because their taste buds are used to sweet.

Q: Do you use artificial sweeteners?


A: No.  Artificial sweeteners are just as they are labeled: artificial.  I try to get my foods in a natural form.  But my main reason for avoiding artificial sweeteners is because they are still addicting to me, and make me crave sweets.  Plus they do unhealthy things to my body such as give me headaches, and make my heart race.  To read more about the reasons I avoid fake sugars, check out my blog post titled Avoiding Artificial Sweeteners.


I know it might seem difficult or overwhelming or maybe even boring to give up sweets, but it is one of the best things I've ever done.  If I could go back in time and change only one thing in my life, I would go back to my childhood and send the sugars packing.

DAY 244 -- Anniversary

Today marked our 32nd wedding anniversary.  Kurt and I have been together through thick and thin... literally.  I'm so grateful for a spouse who did not ridicule me even when I was at my thickest.  I'm grateful for a spouse who supports me in my endeavors, and even agreed to try My Healthy Eating Challenge for "one month" (then when he saw the benefits, he was hooked!).  Even more grateful he wants to continue eating this way for the rest of our lives.

Here's to our anniversary!  And hoping we have many, many healthy years ahead to celebrate!

DAY 234 -- Hot day, hot meal.

Okay, my outside thermometer in the shade reads nearly 100 degrees, but my cell phone tells me it is only 92.  So what to fix for supper?  Chili.  Yep.  Chili.

Call me nutsy, but here's the conversation I had with myself:

I need to use these fresh tomatoes, they're about to go bad.
Why don't you make chili?
Chili?  Are you nuts?  We don't eat chili in the summer!
Why?
Because it's too hot!
Well, you eat other hot meals in the summer.
Yeah, temperature hot, but chili is spicy hot.
You had spicy Mongolian BBQ the other night and didn't complain that it was summer outside.
True.  
Let's have chili.
Okay.

And that's how I came to the decision to make "Busy Mom Chili" which uses canned kidney beans so I didn't need to heat up the house with a pot of beans cooking all day.  (I try to use natural or fresh products with My Healthy Eating Challenge, but when I use canned beans, for instance, I use organic with no added sugars.)  (Have you ever noticed that typical canned kidney beans have corn syrup added?)

Plus I used my fresh organic tomatoes instead of the canned diced tomatoes the recipe called for.

So laugh at me if you will, but "we" (me, myself, and I) had a hot bowl of chili for supper tonight, and my husband (who is working late) can listen to his own voices in his head to determine whether he takes leftover chili in his lunch tomorrow.

(Click here for the recipe.)

DAY 189 -- Obesity Rate

This morning's newspaper (Deseret News) had a headline: "Utah's obesity rate has nearly doubled."  Apparently the state went from 12% of the population being considered obese, to 23.4%.  That number seems high, yet Utah is one of the least obese states, ranking 6th lowest in the nation (Colorado is the lowest). If they include the figures for those considered overweight, then the percentage jumps to 57.9%.  Wow.  That surprises me because I see so many people actively exercising in this state.  When we moved here from Tennessee, we were amazed at all the people out walking, running, riding bikes.  Tennessee is rated the 4th most obese state.  Strangely, though, I moved from the 4th most obese state to the 6th least obese, yet I gained around 30 pounds after moving here!  Go figure.

Thankfully, since starting My Healthy Eating Challenge, I have lost most of the weight I gained after moving to Utah.  I'm trying to do my part to bring the percentage rate down.  : )

DAY 186 -- More weight loss.

Stepping on the scale (yesterday) I was pleased to see I lost 3 pounds since the last time I weighed (a month ago), which means I lost the pound I gained the month prior, plus lost an additional two pounds.  (See the chart at the bottom of my page: At the Start.)  Since starting My Healthy Eating Challenge on January 1, I've lost a total of 25.5 pounds and my husband has lost 43 pounds (he doesn't struggle with emotional eating like I do).

Eating tasty foods, not measuring, not counting calories, fat, carbs or portions or points.  This is a way of eating I can continue the rest of my life...which I hope is a long, long time!

DAY 184 -- More than halfway.

Wow.  It's already three days into July.  This year is half over!  I've been doing some reflection on the first six months of My Healthy Eating Challenge.  There were times of struggle, but over all, I am happy with my progress.  I did quite well with making healthy choices, but I did have difficulty staying within the parameters of eating only when I was physically hungry.  In other words, I had a tendency to eat when I was upset, sad, or stressed.  But another major player that fought against me was fatigue.


I noticed a couple weeks ago that when I became fatigued, my body seemed to tell me I needed more fuel.  So I ate more than I should (more often, and larger quantities) trying to gain some energy.  It didn't work.  After several days, I finally reached a point where I allowed myself to sleep more than normal, rather than eat more than normal, so now I am back on track and doing well with My Healthy Eating Challenge.  I know it sounds crazy, but I need to remember when I am fatigued, I need more rest, not more fuel.  Who knew?  

DAY 153 -- I feel renewed.

Ever since my recent posts, I have felt renewed and recommitted.  The month of May was full of emotional eating, feeding my heart instead of my stomach.  I stepped on the scale this morning and learned that I gained a pound since I weighed last (May 2, a month ago).  I'm not surprised I gained, but pleased that it was only one pound.  That seems incredible.

Thankfully I feel such a burden lifted, and have been strong again in recognizing hunger and fulness yesterday and today.  I think the turmoil I was feeling about the inconsistencies mentioned in my post ("Who am I?) triggered the difficulties I had in recognizing true hunger last month.   I have high hopes for June, since I'm feeling stronger... and liberated.

Now... I have a question.  I'm wondering if the pictures I posted on my "At the Start" page are confusing since the first picture shown is actually a "before" picture representing "before" I stopped eating sugar.  The "before" picture for My Healthy Eating Challenge is shown last.  Is this confusing?  I'm wondering if I should set up a separate page for the "before and after" concerning sugar, keeping it separate from the challenge I started in January.  I'd really appreciate feedback on this, thanks!

DAY 150 -- Pathetic attempt.

Our daughter and her husband invited us to their place for a Memorial Day barbecue.  I knew this could spell trouble for me.  First of all, she asked if I would bring the hot dogs and the buns.  They supplied the hamburgers and the condiments.  So I went to the store and bought really nice buns from the bakery department, and bought my favorite kind of hot dogs even though I kept telling myself I would NOT eat any hot dogs since I didn't want to eat the processed meat.

All throughout the day I kept reminding myself, "Okay... just eat a hamburger pattie with lettuce and tomato and skip the bun (refined flour).  Don't eat a hot dog at all."

BUT NOOOOOooooo.... WHAT DID I DO????  I had a hamburger WITH the bun -- it looked so delicious from the bakery...like homemade, they even needed sliced.  "What's one bun going to hurt?  It's Memorial Day," I told myself.  So I ate it with just a twinge of guilt.

In the meantime, the rest of the family is ranting about how wonderful the hot dog buns are.  SO WHAT DID I DO???  You guessed it... I ate an entire hot dog WITH the bun.  I could have just nibbled a little piece of bun to taste it, but nope... I ate the entire thing.

Let's sum this up.  I ate a hot dog made of processed meat.  I ate a hamburger bun and a hot dog bun, both made of refined flour.  And I ate too much ... a big hamburger, and an entire hot dog.  OINK.

Definitely did not follow My Healthy Eating Challenge today!  Sheesh!  This does not bode well for next week when we go on vacation with our family.

Okay, I'm done flogging myself.  Tomorrow is another day.

DAY 148 -- Upcoming H.S. Reunion

I keep thinking about my high school reunion rapidly approaching.  It's planned for July, and although I've known about it for about a month or maybe two, it seems like it's sneaking up on me. 


My Healthy Eating Challenge is about making healthy food choices and not focused on weight loss,  but the thought of a reunion fills me with the desire to lose lots of weight and tone up.  Yet, what do I do?  The opposite.  It seems like whenever I feel a time crunch or pressure to look my best, I start overeating.  I'm sure I need some analyzing over that, but in the meantime I just keep telling myself to get a grip, get back on track, and stop worrying about it!


Here's a cartoon I've kept for many years.  It makes me chuckle since it's quite appropriate for what I'm feeling today!

DAY 135 -- Article about sugar.

I recommend reading this...

"The Dark Side of Sweet"


Very informative...made me grateful I gave up sweets years ago, and grateful I started to avoid packaged foods for My Healthy Eating Challenge!