Remember two things.

Yesterday I felt blah, accompanied by the desire to munch.  Then I came across this quote:


"I tell my retreat students that they need to remember two things: to eat what they want when they're hungry and to feel what they feel when they're not."  ~ Geneen Roth


I decided to figure out what I was really feeling, since it was not true hunger.  


Thankfully I am married to my best friend, so I went to Kurt and asked him to be my sounding board.  It turned out I had a grab bag of different emotions all disguised into a lump of blah.  As I dug down to figure out what I was really feeling, I pulled out:

• jealousy (someone who used to be heavier than me has lost weight and is now skinnier)
• pride (since the above mentioned person "cheated" by using drastic measures rather than good healthy choices, I must be better than her, right?)
• low self-worth (comparing myself to others)
• need for approval and validation
• discouragement (not attaining some goals I had set)
• boredom (didn't feel like doing much)

After talking things over, I felt much better, and the desire to eat disappeared.  I didn't feel like eating again until this morning after exercising.

I am wondering though (and hoping someone can give me feedback on this)...I understand that I am supposed to allow myself to feel my feelings rather than stuff them down, but what do I do with those feelings once I acknowledge them?  For instance, if I feel angry, should I do something to get rid of that anger (meditation, write my angry feelings and then shred it, punch a pillow until I feel better), or do I just recognize the anger and then move on or ignore it?  What do I do with the feelings I feel?

Any input on that?

DAY 294 -- Weird watermelon stain.

Last week my husband put a watermelon in our cart as we shopped.  I questioned him, "Watermelon in October?"  I was a little hesitant to purchase it since it was grown "out of season," but if you read an earlier post (Where did time go?), you can maybe understand why I kept the melon in the cart... I was still holding on to summer.  I really, really struggle with eating fruits and vegetables in their natural growing season.

Well, we brought the watermelon home and my husband removed the rind, and cut the red fruit of the melon into chunks which he placed in our large white Tupperware bowl.  Cutting it up and storing it in Tupperware is typical for us, but this was the first time he put it in the white bowl.

Now the white bowl is stained orange from the watermelon.  Weird!  None of the previous watermelons stained any of our bowls, so why did it stain this one?  And I do mean stained.  I've tried numerous methods of cleaning it... scouring pad, multiple trips through the dishwasher, scrubbing with Bon Ami, scouring with baking soda, and soaking it in bleach.  None of the methods have worked.  It seems dyed.

So then I wonder...  Since this melon is "out of season" could it have added coloring to make it appear red?  It was not organically grown but I didn't worry about that since melons are not as crucial to buy organic.  Maybe I'm paranoid.  Maybe this will help me strive to eat produce in season.

Has anyone else had problems with watermelon staining something, especially leaving an orange stain?

DAY 287 -- Answering questions.

When I posted about my 10-year anniversary abstaining from sweets (Sunday, Oct. 9), a reader asked some questions.  I thought others might be interested the my responses, so I hope she doesn't mind that I am using a separate post to answer her questions.

Q: Do you refrain just from sweets, or from sugar in other products like catsup and spaghetti sauce?


A: When I initially began my sugarholic recovery, I stopped eating sweets such as candy bars, pastries, sodas, and obvious treats.  As for other products, I carefully read the labels and if the sweetener was one of the first four ingredients, I didn't eat it.  If it was fifth or beyond on the list of the ingredients, then I went ahead and ate it.  I had a difficult time finding catsup that was low in sugar, but finally found one that was satisfactory to me (however, I can no longer find that brand).  Currently, because of "My Healthy Eating Challenge" I try to avoid all foods that have added sweeteners since I try to eat natural, fresh foods and very little packaged or processed foods.  (It's hard to find packaged foods that don't have sweetener added!)  I watch labels and purchase tomato sauce and tomato paste that does not contain sweetener.  Hunts used to make a spaghetti sauce that did not contain added sugars, but I can no longer find it so I make my own sauce.


By the way... I learned once again how important it is to read labels.  I attended a meeting last night where someone brought gluten-free pretzels.  I tried a few, and they were delicious. Then I read the label.  You guessed it... sugar was added.  I never suspected to look because typically pretzels are a safe bet!

Q: Do you end up having to do a lot of cooking to avoid added sugars?


A: I do make a lot of things from scratch, but I find quick and easy recipes, including recipes for the crockpot.  A few recipes I enjoy are listed on the Recipe Page of this blog.


Earlier in the year I posted a blog entry giving examples of what I eat for various meals.  You can check it out on this link:  Sample Meal Ideas


Q: Do you use natural sweets like maple syrup and evaporated cane juice, all-fruit jam, and stevia?


A: Because I am addicted to "sweet" I use very little sweetener in anything; however, when I do need something sweetened I use pure maple syrup (100% maple syrup), pure honey, or molasses.  I mostly use fruit for sweetening, either fresh fruit or canned fruit (canned in its own juice).  For instance I make muffins using recipes that call for very little sweetener (about 2 tablespoons of honey or molasses for the entire batch), and have added fruit, such as mashed bananas, to help "sweeten" them.


I sometimes use all-fruit jam, but I carefully read the labels because many of the so-called all fruit jams use fruit syrup rather than fruit juice.  I avoid the ones with fruit syrup.  


I don't use stevia, and someone suggested I try agave, but after reading various studies about agave, I avoid that too.


Once sugar was out of my system, I found natural foods to taste delicious.  I don't feel the need or desire to sweeten most foods.  As an example, I use plain yogurt, add chunks of fruit and some broken walnuts, and to me that tastes delicious.  If someone used to eating sugar tasted my yogurt treat, it would not taste good to them because their taste buds are used to sweet.

Q: Do you use artificial sweeteners?


A: No.  Artificial sweeteners are just as they are labeled: artificial.  I try to get my foods in a natural form.  But my main reason for avoiding artificial sweeteners is because they are still addicting to me, and make me crave sweets.  Plus they do unhealthy things to my body such as give me headaches, and make my heart race.  To read more about the reasons I avoid fake sugars, check out my blog post titled Avoiding Artificial Sweeteners.


I know it might seem difficult or overwhelming or maybe even boring to give up sweets, but it is one of the best things I've ever done.  If I could go back in time and change only one thing in my life, I would go back to my childhood and send the sugars packing.

DAY 240 -- Habits and traditions.

A friend told me she was going to a movie on Saturday, the third movie she'd attended in a week's time.  "That's a lot of popcorn!" she said.

I smiled, because I remember the days when certain events or traditions called for certain foods.  I too used to buy popcorn every time I went to the movies, especially if I went to the "cheap theater" since I knew the only way the theater made a profit was through concession sales.  I wanted them to stay in business!  Now, however, I strive to eat popcorn at the movies only when I purposely plan for it.

When I began recovery for my sugarholism, I realized I could not partake of sweets just because it was a birthday, or a holiday.  I had to break those habits.  It was a little tricky trying to figure out what to put in my Christmas stocking that first year.  (I chose nuts and dried fruit.)

However, "old habits die hard," as the saying goes, so there are still times I find myself caught up in habitual eating triggers... like the urge to eat while watching television; wanting snacks while driving; and fighting the urge to graze when I'm tired, upset, or bored.

And I fall into traditional eating too... I want a corn dog at a fair; corned beef and cabbage for St. Patrick's day; hamburgers (and hot dogs) at a picnic; I want to gorge at Thanksgiving; and love party mix with sparking cider for New Year's Eve.

What habits or traditions (involving food) do you deal with?

DAY 213 -- Exercise, and a bread making question.

This morning I realized I was way behind on entering my exercises on the "exercise" page.  It's a good thing I am consistent with logging my workouts on The President's Challenge.  By referring to my activities log on that website, I got my exercise page for the blog up-to-date.  Whew.  Glad I didn't have to rely on memory!


Anyone out there experienced with making raisin bread in a bread machine?  Yesterday I made a loaf of raisin bread and the raisins did not mix in properly. I used the bread machine, and followed the directions for adding raisins, and even though I added them at the stage indicated, and even though I added only a few at a time, the loaf still turned out with the raisins mainly in the lower half of the loaf.  I was excited to use the recipe since it had very little sugar (just 3 tablespoons for the 2 lb. loaf), and the flavor of the bread is just right for me, but I don't know how to make the raisins distribute more evenly throughout the loaf the next time.  Any suggestions?