The marvelous body.

Sometimes I feel kind towards my body (see: The "Perfect" Body), but usually I feel uncomfortable in my skin.  Towards the end of 2011 (the year I started this blog) I realized part of my emotional eating was linked to my lack of self-love.

Self-love?  Am I supposed to love myself?  Isn't that self-centered and selfish?  I took some time to research this on a spiritual level.  I knew the world would tell me to love myself, but was it okay with God?  I learned that it was indeed.  "Love thy neighbor as thyself" does not translate into "Love everyone except yourself." God loves me unconditionally, and I need to love me too.

I started a "Getting To Love Me" journal to record things about myself, to explore who I am and what God wants me to become, but I still struggled in the self-love department, especially when it came to my physical being.

At the beginning of October I prayed, "Please help me find one thing I can do on a regular basis that will help me like [I still struggle with love] myself better." I felt I needed a specific suggestion... something precise or measurable that I could do.

The very next day after uttering that prayer, I heard a talk by Russell M. Nelson, an Apostle.  He said,

"Each time you look in the mirror, see your body as your temple.  That truth--refreshed gratefully each day--can positively influence your decisions about how you will care for your body and how you will use it.  And those decisions will determine your destiny.  How could this be?  Because your body is the temple for your spirit.  And how you use your body affects your spirit."

Into my heart entered my answer, "Each day express gratitude to God for something specific about your body and you will experience a positive change, you will grow to love yourself."  

Wanting to record the insights, I went to my "Getting To Love Me" journal, and realized I did not have anything in there about my body! Talents, blessings, abilities, ideas, strengths, weaknesses, aspirations… but nothing about my physical self!

So I started a new section, My Body is a Temple of God, and I record, almost daily (I'm not perfect), what I'm grateful for concerning my body.  

• I am thankful for my fingers.  They can play the piano and write.
• I am grateful that my body can hula hoop.
• I am thankful for my uterus which expanded and allowed a safe and healthy environment for my babies to grow and develop.
• I am thankful for my ears.  I can hear birds singing, rain falling, snow crunching under my feet.  I can hear music, and the voices of loved ones.  I can hear thunder as well as whispers of "I love you, Gwamma."

I not only record those things, I kneel in prayer and vocally express my gratitude to God. I already feel kinder towards myself and my body.

I'm grateful for Elder Nelson's talk and the answer to my prayer. Here's a beautiful video based on his inspired message:

"Give me this mountain!"

Have you ever had images and phrases come to your mind that seem poetic in nature?  That happened to me in early June and since I didn't know how to write poetry, I settled for prose.  I'm sure I learned poetry-writing in high school, but that knowledge fled years ago.

I feel like I'm about to expose my tender underbelly, since I don't usually write like this, but I feel it's time to share this... (what do I call it?)...poetic prose. Here goes...

“Give me this mountain!” I timidly cry out, growing more confident even as I say it.  Inspired by Caleb (Joshua 14:12), I know that with the Lord’s help I can conquer this mountain—this land of giant appetites—this insurmountable problem of overeating.  I can visualize success.  I can see myself on top of the mountain, planting my banner, pleased and proud; uplifted and made conqueror by the hand of the Lord.

So I begin my journey.

Yesterday it was “Give me this mountain!” and I advanced two steps.  But today I cry, “Remove this mountain!”  For I am no longer advancing at a snail’s pace up the side, I realize I am trapped beneath.  Buried.  One minute I am on the side, and the next minute, with one misstep (was it the popcorn?), I find myself beneath.  Surrounded by darkness, crushed and whimpering.  The mountain is planted squarely on top. 

“Someone call IX-I-I!”  I smirk.  I cannot cry out.  I am smothered, alone.  As I lay beneath the mountain, I ponder.  Where did I go wrong?  Where was my misstep?  How did I get beneath instead of on top?  Was it the Kentucky Fried Chicken?  But it was a better choice than Wendy’s or A&W, wasn’t it?  And I only ate one side of green beans and gave the biscuit to coworker Bill.  Oh!  I should have planned better.  I should have foreseen I would go from one job to another and not have time to eat.  Yes.  That’s it.  I should have planned better.

But wait.  Maybe it was the popcorn.  I wanted the popcorn from Low Book Sales.  I just had to have it.  But then maybe it was eating too much Panda Express followed by too much watermelon followed by…

I sob.  What’ the use? 

I lay very still and cry.  I pray.  “Lord, yesterday I faced the mountain and started to climb.  Today I am beneath.  Why?”

Staring into the darkness, I see clearly. “Give me this mountain” indeed.  I am within.  I built it around and over me, first as a shelter, then as a façade—layer by layer of sediment settling more solid year after year.  My relationship with food covers it, like vegetation that grows on the mountainside, where I graze and gorge in comfort, ignoring what lies beneath.

“Give me this mountain.”  Indeed, the mountain is mine, and it must be removed, not climbed.  With my Savior’s help, I can move the mountain…one shovelful at time.  I must sift through the dirt, examine it, acknowledge or discard it, until I am free.  And then I will stake my banner – on solid, level, ground.

“Remove this mountain.”  So it is that shovel turns to pen, mountain turns to paper.  And I write.

"Think on these things..."

When I read scriptures, I try to think of how the verses I'm reading might apply to me or to my situations. Recently, I prayed for help in eating healthy (as I often do) and then opened the Bible. I read Philippians 4:8 (King James version). "Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things."   

In the past, whenever I read that verse, I applied it to what I might be viewing, reading, or participating in; but this time, because of healthy eating on my mind, I saw it in a different light.  Here are some of my thoughts:

...whatsoever things are true ... Truth is something that endures forever. If something is true now, it will be true tomorrow. It doesn't change. This tells me to avoid fad diets, and eat the foods that have been and always will be healthy: fresh vegetables, fruits, nuts, grains...

...whatsoever things are honest  ... I need to be honest with myself (is that really the best food choice available?). Be honest about hunger and fulness (am I truly hungry, or do I just want to eat?). Be accountable and honest.  

...whatsoever things are just  ...  There are consequences - just consequences - to actions, good or bad. When I eat healthy, I can expect better health, more energy, a clear mind, and better moods. When I eat poorly, I can expect weight gain, fatigue, fuzzy mind, and diminished health. Eating like a pig will bring consequences, and they are just. Eating healthy brings consequences, and they are just too!

...whatsoever things are pure ... Eat as wholesome and natural as I can. The fewer hands that have handled my food, and the least processed, the better.

...whatsoever things are lovely ... Make meals attractive. Eat a variety of foods and rejoice in their colors, flavors, textures, and beauty.   

...whatsoever things are of good report ... Every day, it seems, there are new reports on diet research and health, often with contradicting ideas. I need to carefully consider the source (who funded the research) and their agenda. Some researchers report "good" numbers for weight loss, but it doesn't mean it's a healthy method of losing weight.

...if there be any virtue ... (Virtue: a standard of right; beneficial quality or power of a thing; strength or courage; commendable quality or trait; capacity to act.) Select foods that give my body benefit, power, or strength. I have the capacity to act on good choices. I can act (make healthy choices) rather than be acted upon (blame circumstances or eat something because someone else insists).

...if there be any praise ... Acknowledge my successes. Be grateful and praise God for the healthy foods available. Thank God for His Divine help and support. Tell others.

...think on these things ... Think on the positive and good. Think about making healthy choices.  Envision good health and a clear mind. Avoid negative thoughts. Don't let thoughts dwell on foods that are unhealthy. Think on the true, honest, pure, good report, just, virtue, and praise. Think how they apply to healthy eating and rejoice!

DAY 338 -- Food for the soul.

Tonight I am filled with wonderful thoughts of Christmas.  We went by train to downtown Salt Lake City where we attended a Christmas Devotional listening to wonderful talks about the meaning of Christmas, a short video about the Savior's birth, and uplifting music sung by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.  I feel refreshed and refocused.

It's interesting that on the way to the devotional I thought about some yummy pasta leftovers I was going to eat later when we got back home.  We had the pasta last night from a restaurant and it seems like whenever I get it, I want to eat, eat, eat, way past full. But after the devotional, I no longer felt drawn to eat that pasta.  In fact, I told my husband he can have my share to take in his lunch tomorrow.

Refreshed.  Refocused.  And recommitted to eating healthy.

DAY 299 -- Focus on what I CAN eat.

During work yesterday, a co-worker learned that I don't eat sweets.  Stunned, he questioned me, "You don't eat sweets? Then what do you eat?"  I answered, "Food.  I eat all kinds of delicious food."

I recited some of the fresh wonderful food choices available consisting of vegetables, grains, fruits, protein...which made me think about the "food pyramids" we see.  Even though "experts" juggle the sections of the pyramid around from time to time, the groups remain basically the same, and refined sugar is either a very tiny portion of it, or not even listed. (Here are a couple examples.)

When we look at the food pyramid, we see numerous kinds of food!  Yet, too often the "world" wants us to focus on what we can't have, or can't do, or can't partake of, making it seem like if we don't partake of something then we are soooo restricted and confined.  But the truth is there are numerous things we can have, can do, and can partake of, we actually have lots of freedom and abundant choices.

The author of the focus-on-the-can't-haves and focus-on-the-don't-haves, is old "what's his no-face."  He presented that attitude to Adam and Eve.  In Genesis 2:16-17 it reads "And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat: But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it..."  (Kings James version, italics added) 

Then the "serpent" comes along and brings the focus onto the one tree they can't partake of, rather than on every tree that they may freely eat.

Now, I'm not saying that eating sugar is a sin.  I'm not saying those who question what I can eat, or act like I need pitied because I don't partake of sweets, are evil people.  What I'm saying is, I have lots and lots of choices.  I can choose to eat refined sugars if I so desire, but I don't desire that.  I have far more freedom and health by choosing to decline.  No need to make myself miserable by focusing on the one tiny and sometimes non-existant section of the food pyramid I don't partake of...sweets... when there are abundant food choices to take delight in.

DAY 282 -- Anniversary of sugarholic recovery

Today marks 10 YEARS of Sugar Addiction Recovery for me.  Giving up refined sugar was one of the best things I've ever done.  I've had some people tell me, "Well, I am toooo addicted.  I could never stop eating sweets."  Those people assume that I must not have been very addicted if I was able to give it up... they have no idea the hellish addiction I had.

How did I do it?  How did I give it up?  With Divine help in taking one step at a time, one day at a time, until those one days accumulated into ten years.

To better understand my before and after, here's an excerpt from the "My Story" page on this blog...

MY SUGARHOLIC STORY:  When people find out I abstain from sugary foods, they usually say, "I could never live like that."  They don't understand... I was not living before giving up sweets.  I was existing, but certainly not living.  I existed in a world of mood swings, depression, fatigue, sickness, anger, and self-loathing.  I had dreams, but no oomph to follow them.

I reached a point where I was desperate.  I wanted to be well!  I wanted good health!  I made appointments with my gynecologist (were my hormones out of whack?); an allergist (were allergies making me sick?); and an internal medicine doctor.  Surely someone would have answers.  In the meantime, I poured my heart out in prayer.  This was nothing new, but perhaps I was finally in the right frame of mind to understand the answer: sugar addiction.  Just as surely as someone could be addicted to alcohol, I was addicted to sugar.  I realized that addiction runs in my family.  Alcohol.  Drugs.  Sugar was my drug of choice.  I realized that just as an alcoholic needs to avoid alcohol at all times (one should not tell an alcoholic, "It's your birthday, go ahead and have a drink!") I needed to avoid sugary foods, even on special occasions.

When this realization hit me, I stopped cold turkey.  It was October 9, 2001.  I went through about a week of withdrawals...and then...the cravings ceased, and I emerged into a whole new world!  I felt alive.  Really alive!  

I am a different person.  Here are some things that changed for me:

• Nearly every day of the week is a good day for me.  I used to have maybe one good day out of a week.  A good day for me is when I am productive and accomplish tasks.
• More energy!  Sure, I still get tired, but it is because I have been on the go all day long.
• No heartburn.  Before going off sugar, I used to have frequent heartburn.  I kept Tums in my purse, next to my bed, in the medicine cabinet.   Now I don't need them.  
• Better sleep patterns.  I go to bed early and arise early.  (I never dreamed I was actually a morning person!!)  I used to go to bed exhausted, have insomnia, and never feel awake even after arising.  I slept in any chance I could get and the only thing that motivated me to get out of bed was the thought of something yummy to eat.  Sugary cereals.  Donuts.  I used to have a sweatshirt that read: "Start every day with a smile and a donut...the smile is optional."
• No need for anti-depressants!  Prior to discovering my sugar addiction, I went on anti-depressants (off and on) always thinking they would help me feel better.  They did not.  Since avoiding sugars, I have never once felt the need for medication--and what's more, I feel mentally better than I ever did during the times I used anti-depressants.
• Fewer skin tags.  I used to have lots of skin tags all over my neck.  Most of them disappeared when I stopped eating sweets!
• Easier to donate blood.  When I was full of sugar, if I donated blood I became very light-headed and dizzy.  They would have to put ice packs around my neck and have me recline with my feet up for a long period of time until I could finally leave the blood mobile.  It was embarrassing, so I rarely donated.  Now, they take my blood, I hop up, grab a bottle of water and free T-shirt, and I'm out the door.
• Courage to do hard things.  Now when faced with a challenge I think to myself, "The Lord helped me quit eating sugar, He can help me accomplish (insert any difficult task) too.  

Freedom from addiction tastes far better than any sweet.  I don't want to enter that bondage--the prison of sugar addiction--again.

DAY 275 -- Escaping the Lobster trap!

Last night we went to dinner at Red Lobster with a group of friends.  Before leaving our place, I slipped into a room and prayed for help.  I knew the only way I could make it through the meal without overeating was if I had Divine assistance.


First of all, I worried about the cheesy biscuits.  I absolutely love, love, love their cheesy biscuits, and I've never been able to go to Red Lobster without having a full meal of those melt-in-your mouth delights even before devouring an entree and any accompanying sides dishes. 


When we pulled up to the restaurant, my heart sank.  It was Endless Shrimp time.  I felt like all odds were stacking against me... willing me to succumb and break my stickK contract. Silent prayers raced through my mind.  Heaven help me.


And Heaven did.  I ate one -- count it, one - biscuit.  Ooooo how I wanted more more more. But I held tight.  I ate my salad, and part of my Talapia (yes, I even avoided the Endless Shrimp!), then brought my leftovers home.  


Thank Heaven.  I did...and still do.

DAY 254 -- Finding Peace

Today marks the 10th anniversary of the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks, and I've spent time reflecting on past events... not only of what happened ten years ago, but other times throughout history too.  I recall when my daughter was in high school, she came home one day and asked me what it was like to live in the sixties, with the Hippie movement, the protests, the campus riots, the Vietnam war.  She wondered what it was like to live during that time, and wondered how we kept from being fearful and discouraged.  I pointed out that each generation seems to have, at some point, a horrendous event to deal with.  The bombing of Pearl Harbor.  The assassination of President Kennedy.  Wars.  Rumors of wars.  I assured her that we can find inner peace.  Each generation survives and moves forward, just like her generation will always remember where they were when they heard about the 9/11 attack, but they will also remember how they rallied and moved forward.

This world is full of turmoil and distress, and "world peace" seems impossible at times.  It can bring out the best, or the worst, in us.  So where do we find peace?  I think the following hymn sums it up appropriately:

WHEN FAITH ENDURES

I will not doubt, I will not fear;
God's love and strength are always near.
His promised gift helps me to find
An inner strength and peace of mind.
I give the Father willingly
My trust, my prayers, humility.
His Spirit guides; his love assures
That fear departs when faith endures.

(Text: Naomi W. Randall)

DAY 202 -- Crazy week.

Last Friday I drove to Boise, returned on Monday, our son arrived early Tuesday morning to spend this week, and I leave again this weekend for Idaho.  It's been a crazy week, and very difficult to keep up with any healthy routines.  Meal times thrown off.  Exercise time interrupted.  Sleeping patterns disturbed.  And I'm feeling it tonight.  I feel stressed out.

It's a vicious cycle because when I have a busy week it's hard to make time for healthy routines, yet those routines would help keep the stress level down.

Just like the saying goes, "The hurrier I go, the behinder I get."  Tomorrow I need to take time for spiritual, mental, and physical health.  

DAY 155 -- "True" vs. Truth.

Last night I struggled with body image.  Drat that stupid task of trying on swimsuits!!   I truly have unattractive legs, and there's no way to cover them without resorting to the old fashioned, below-the-knee, suits.  I fell into Satan's trap of discouragement, but thankfully had enough sense to cry out for help.  

The answer... I was looking at what is "true," rather than looking at Eternal Truth.

These things are true: my legs are unattractive... I have saggy skin (from weight loss)... I would need surgery to ever have decent looking legs... (need I go on?)  All of those things are "true." 

But if I want the real truth, I need to look to my Heavenly Father.  

God's truth about my body:  I am created in His image... my body is a temple... I am beautiful... I am doing my best to be healthy and fit, therefore, I am fine the way I am.  

DAY 119 -- Feeling good.

It feels good to feel good.

After the past couple weeks of shock, grief, company, lack of exercise, eating schedules out of whack, and not always having healthy foods to choose from, I felt miserable.

The past few days I was back on track with exercise and eating healthy (and even not overeating when I wanted comfort), so I guess I expected to snap back into my chipper self.  Not so.

This morning I had a long talk with God about it.  I wanted to know why I wasn't feeling more joyful like I was "before."  The following is kind of, sort of, like the conversation I had with Him.

Me: Why don't I feel joy lately?
God:  Give yourself a break.  You're grieving!
Me: Yeah, but besides that... I'm eating healthy and exercising, but I just don't feel very spunky.
God:  Sometimes you need to look for the joy in the journey.
Me:  Look for it?
God: Yes.  Try to find the joyful things about your everyday tasks.
Me:  Like doing laundry today?
God:  Right.
Me:  What's joyful about that?
God:  You tell me.
Me:  Well... we will have clean clothes.  I have a washing machine.  I don't have to beat our clothes against a rock.  I get extra exercise by going up and down the stairs with the laundry.
God:  Right.  You can find joy in all things, if you look.
Me:  I get it.  Thanks!
God:  Wait a minute, I'm not done.
Me:  Sorry.
God:  It is harder to find joy when you don't dress the part.
Me:  Huh?
God:  Look how you are dressed.
Me:  (looking at my "grubbies" and reflecting on my shaggy hair and lack of make-up)  So?  I'm not going anywhere.
God:  You will also find more joy if you dress the part.  Dress as though you deserve to look nice.  Dress as though company might stop by.  You are my child, dress as though you have respect for yourself.
Me:  I don't have a fancy wardrobe.
God:  You do not need one.  You do not need to be prideful about your appearance, but you do need to be respectful and wear clean clothes in good repair when you are blessed to have them.  Change into something that helps you feel fresh, something you would feel comfortable wearing if someone came to the door.  Go do that now, and then come back and tell me how you feel.

I changed my shirt, put on a pair of earrings and even a necklace.  I put on make up, lipstick, and curled my hair.  I put on shoes, rather than my slippers.

I returned to God in prayer.

Me:  You are right!  I really do feel better!
God:  (I think I felt Him smile)
Me:  Thank you!
God:  You are welcome... any time.

My day has gone smoother and I have managed to find joyful moments again.  No unexpected company arrived, but I have felt His presence.

It feels good to feel good... and feels especially good to feel God.

DAY 114 -- Easter

Today was a better day, emotionally.  Spent the day with our son, our daughter, her husband, and our two little grandchildren. Having their hugs, smiles, and silly antics really brought cheer into my heart.

I am grateful for Easter and all it represents... having my thoughts on the Savior's sacrifice and Resurrection helped immensely.  I have felt His comfort.  

DAY 84 -- Birds of a feather.

I spent the day with the niece I've mentioned in previous posts.  We went to several religious classes together, plus spent time gabbing.  I enjoy being with her because she eats in a similar fashion.  She's not addicted to sugar, but she avoids it because she learned that her body does not handle it well.  She's also into health and nutrition; and has studied it for twenty years.

It's pleasant to be with someone who does not ridicule, or judge the way I eat...someone who doesn't mind sitting in comfortable chairs and sharing healthy snacks (homemade not-so-sweet muffins, vegetable sticks, almonds, fruit) rather than hit the fast food joint.  Some people feel uncomfortable around me because they want to "pig out" and they feel like they can't do that if I am around.  (I've had people tell me this--that's how I know.)

Sometimes the hardest part about eating healthy is being the "odd person out," so I thoroughly enjoyed female gab time with someone who "gets me."

DAY 82 -- Reflecting on regrets.

(Earlier today I added a note to yesterday's post and then kept thinking I had already posted for today!)

I've been reflecting on the difference in my life the last 9 1/2 years of recovery (from sugar addiction).  The difference between night and day, I am a different person than I was back then.  I rejoice in the change and feel very blessed...but...at times I feel a sadness that it took me 45 years before I actually started to live!  I look back and think about how I could have been a better mother if I had not been in a sugar stupor.  My kids grew up with a mother that was tired, sick, and depressed most of the time.  A mother that was morbidly obese and wouldn't let anyone take a picture of her.  I wish I could have raised them without the addiction ruling my life.

And sometimes I'm sad for such a big chunk of my life being gone before I woke up.  Since going off sugar I have lived a full life, accomplished many goals (including graduating from college with a bachelor degree) and I am so much happier and productive.  But I'm also at the age where things are starting to slow down and I don't have as many years to reach super long term goals.

I wish I could help others -- especially young adults -- recognize sugar addiction, and have the courage to change so they could be their best selves now and not have to wait for so many years and have so many regrets.  I wish I could give others hope!

It's interesting that in reading some of my old journals, I actually wrote numerous times that I was addicted to sugar, but I never did anything about it!  I guess I just never made the connection that as a sugar addict, I needed to treat myself like an addict or alcoholic and STOP!  I am grateful that when I was finally able to face the sobering truth about my addiction, that the Lord granted me the strength to deal with it.  With His help, I can do hard things.   

DAY 78 -- STILL a work in progress!

This blog seems to keep evolving.  Today I read through all the entries to this point.  I added some labels, added some pictures (although most of my early entries still do not have pics), and created links whenever I referred to a previous post or another page.

I am also a work in progress.  Striving to make improvements to become a better person...spiritally, socially, mentally, physically.  Eating healthy definitely helps in all those aspects!  

DAY 63 -- Deer in headlights day.

Do you ever have those kind of days?  Where you have so much you need to do, have to do, want to do, that you are overwhelmed and can't get out of your own tracks?  That's me, so far today.  








It felt great when my office was set in order, but part of that process brought about lists upon lists upon lists of things to-do, things to take-care of, etc.  










Today I feel overwhelmed by it all.










So, I said a prayer, pulled myself up by the bootstraps (actually, my slippers, since I hadn't even dressed yet), and did what my sister says works for her.  I got dressed and put on some lipstick.  That's her advice.  Putting on lipstick made me want to go a bit further, so I put on some eyeliner and mascara too.  I even put on earrings.



Amazing what a boost that gave me.  I now have some steaks defrosting for tonight's supper, and a load of laundry going.  That's progress!  :)  

Next I'll add some music--the kind that makes me want to dance--and get crackin' on those lists!  

DAY 40 -- Insight on my previous post.

First of all...drats!  I totally thought I had posted yesterday, but discovered I had not!

In my last post, I was wondering what I was trying to feed.  I felt down and wanted to eat, eat, eat.  That night I learned I was suffering from a major problem... and overdose of what I will call "Vitamin I."  What do I need?  What am I feeding?  Why do I feel emotionally hungry?  blah blah blah  All my thoughts focused around ME!

I was "me-deep" in conversation with the Lord.  "Help me feel better"  "What's wrong with me?"    All my prayers were about ME ME ME!!!  "Bless ME!"

Somehow the Lord got it through my thick noggin that if I would stop turning my thoughts and worries inward, and start looking outward (to focus on Him and what He wanted--which is to serve others) then I would feel better.  And of course, He was right!  :)

So Day 40 was a much better day since I spent most of the day helping someone else.  I even made a sign to hang in my kitchen.  "It's not about me!"

DAY 39 -- What am I trying to feed?

Today is a struggle and I don't even know why.  I feel down.  I feel like I want to eat and eat and eat.  Thankfully I have healthy foods to eat, but still... I am trying to eat only when hungry and this is not stomach hunger I am feeling, it is emotional hunger or head hunger.  I don't know what I am trying to feed.  I've tried praying.  I've tried listening to uplifting music.  I've tried resting.  I don't know what's going on.  Hormones?  Denial of feelings?  Mourning?  (A friend from high school died recently.)  Unmet expectations?  What???

I hope I can figure this out soon!  Anyone out there have suggestions?  Is there anyone out there?

DAY 3 -- Good food, but low mood

Still successful.  This morning I had "Zoom" hot cereal (100% whole wheat), with lowfat milk, and an egg cooked with vegetable oil spray.  Oh, and I had a clementine.  :)  I used to use a little bit of honey in my Zoom, but today I decided to leave it off.

For lunch I had a mixture of fresh potato, green beans, and extra lean ground beef.  And a fresh plum.

Tonight I plan on having a salad with vinegar/oil dressing.

I feel somewhat down today.  I guess I expected my mood to be elevated.  After all...I am on the right track again...I am successful at this so far...I am eating healthy foods.  What's wrong?  I am wondering if it might be withdrawals from the refined flour.  Missing my comfort foods, maybe?

I read a book (awhile back) about overeating, and the author suggested that we turn to God for comfort instead of food.  I am a religious person, and agree with her on that point.  Time to get on my knees and ask for His comfort.